Mentoring Children that have Experienced Trauma: Overcoming the Challenges
While mentoring a child who has experienced some type of trauma in their lives is extremely rewarding, it can also come with challenges. Here are some common obstacles and how to overcome them.
Building Trust
Establishing trust takes time, especially with young people who may have experienced instability in their lives. Be patient, consistent, and open. Building a strong relationship is a gradual process.
Navigating Difficult Conversations
Mentors may encounter sensitive topics or difficult conversations. It’s essential to approach these discussions with empathy and understanding.
Trust Issues
Children who have experienced trauma may have difficulty trusting adults due to past betrayals or abandonment. Be consistent and reliable in your interactions, communicate openly and honestly, allowing the child to express their feelings and take time to build rapport and demonstrate your commitment to the mentoring relationship.
Emotional Dysregulation
Trauma can lead to difficulties in managing emotions, resulting in sudden outbursts or withdrawal. Implement calming techniques, such as deep breathing or mindfulness exercises, provide a safe space for the child to express their emotions without judgment, but most of all it is important to be patient and understanding.
Behavioural Challenges
Children may exhibit challenging behaviours as a response to their trauma, which can be disheartening for mentors. Focus on positive reinforcement and celebrate small achievements, set clear and consistent boundaries to provide structure and seek to understand the underlying reasons for the behaviour rather than reacting negatively.
Limited Communication Skills
Traumatized children may struggle to articulate their thoughts and feelings, making communication difficult. Use open-ended questions to encourage them to tell you how they are really feeling, encourage the child to express themselves using creative methods, such as art or play and be patient and give the child time to find the right words.
Fear of Abandonment
Children with trauma histories may fear that mentors will leave them, leading to anxiety and withdrawal. Reassure the child of your commitment to them regularly, discuss the importance of the mentoring relationship openly and be honest with them about any changes in your availability or schedule.
Stigmatization and Isolation
Traumatized children may feel different from their peers, leading to feelings of isolation. It is vital that the child is encouraged to develop social interactions with their peers in a supportive environment. Help the child to develop coping strategies for dealing with stigma and promote activities that build confidence and a sense of belonging.
Mentoring a child who has suffered trauma requires patience, understanding, and can be emotionally intense. By recognizing the common obstacles and implementing strategies to overcome them, mentors can create a supportive and nurturing environment that fosters healing and growth, leading to greatly improved future outcomes.
Big Brothers Big Sisters’ (BBBS) support children who are likely to have experienced trauma by nurturing safe, consistent long‑term friendships between caring adult mentors and their ‘littles’. BBBS are committed to the wellbeing and safety of all who are in the mentoring programme, providing ongoing Safeguarding training and support.
If you are interested in joining our mentoring community and making a difference to a child’s life, then contact us today or submit an enquiry via our online form.
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